Broken Pieces

why did the 2 bitches have to come into my life?
if they didnt, wont the world be better? of course, without the first one, i wouldnt even be here today.
yes. im referring to my mother and my eldest sis
im so f pissed, angry, upset, hurt, disappointed, irritated - any adjectives that you can use to describe extreme sadness.
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my mom called just now
i cant stand her pretentious concern because its so f fake
maybe its real, but i cant stand it
although you are my mother, you cannot just come and go as and when you like
im not a toy nor a pet, not smth that you can just play with it when you like it
you dont just suddenly appear in my life just like that
and disappear for like months after that
do you know how hurting was that?
i doubt you know.
because if you'd known, i wouldnt have the need to write it today

since young, i've always cried silently on the other end of the phone while she called
maybe i missed her, or maybe im just sad.
she can just appear and disappear anytime she like.
and now, im 16 this year.
things have changed, so am I.
i have changed. i am no longer the feebly, weak little girl you've abandoned
when she called just now, i only feel irritance. i feel agitated
i just feel like hanging up on her.
why, you ask me.

well, i will only say this.
i havent seen or talk to her in like months?
and ever since she wento get my report book the other day
she just "naturally" became my mother again
start to talk to me about tuition
like hello? you dont even know if i really need it or not
so just shut the fuck up

so when she called just now
all i felt was, "do you ever think about how i feel? do you think that you can manipulate my life as and when you like now? sorry, its too late"
i feel like telling her this
i know i sound harsh, i sounded rash
no one knows how does it feel like, years without your mother
beside you. and all she does when she sees you is to shower bias-ness on your eldest sister
how does that feel?
feels bad isnt it?
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now about my eldest sister
i have 2 sisters. the elder one has a temper and character like mine
but thankfully, our fate is different
we've inherited our father's attributes: stubborness, bad-tempered, hot-headed, and so on and so forth.

so. i was happily watching my boys before flowers
then she just switched on the iron
because the plug for the computer was loose (and I DIDNT KNOW)
and my computer was shut down
like wth?? i loaded like a few episodes before already and its all done
somemore i was watching another episode halfway through
then she just suddenly like that?
when my comp switched off, we both thought it was because she off the wrong switch
but the fact was that she was switching on, and she didnt off the comp's

and i got pissed but i didnt scream at her
i was like wth, i load alr leh. now gone. (thats what you will say normally when the take-so-long vids finally finished buffering)
then blabla bla

then my second sis went to adjust the thingy
then we found out that it was because the plug was loose
then after that my eldest sis switched off her iron
and my computer was shut down again.
LIKE WTH. cant she just f close it gently?
after that i said the same thing, im like, wa, i just on and you switched off again
and after awhile she suddenly screamed at me
its damn loud, no one had ever done that to me, not even my father

so scream here scream there
i was so pissed off and angry
cos when i switched on back, the immature her go and switch off my comp again
in the end got this windows did not start normally thingy
then i exploded. and she screamed
we both screamed
after that i was damn pissed off and angry
its like i cannot do anything, i am helpless. no one can help
if my sister & bro help, they will get scolded as well
then after that she come out and scream at me again
then she went in to her room

i was damn angry then i go kick the chair which was infront of me
then when she came out she saw
she thought her fucking bag was on the chair
and inside that fucking bag got perfume
and she thought i kicked the chair with the bag
i think thats the most retarded thing someone will say
like i will kick a chair which has a bag? like im blind? dumb?
im not. because before that i was eating my lunch
so i put her bag on the floor and jacket on the table
and she complained again that i put her bag on the floor
like wth???? she princess?

pissed pissed pissed
then she screamed at me
then she threw the chair at the floor
when i ignored her (cos she was being stupid & childish. i cant be bothered),
she kicked me calf. like so damn pain la.
shes not very small size, she has tons of fats
and she think she kick very gentle? its damn pain
somemore kick until my bone
then i exploded again
blablabla then she threatened me not to aggravate her
if not she will throw the chair at me.
thus i didnt say anything, because i know she will
shes like so damn violent and abusive
if she gets married next time, i bet her husband will get beaten up for not listening to her
wanna hear something bossy she said?
"why didnt you call them to come into my room and ask me what i want for lunch?" she said this to my second sis, the "them" is us, me and my brother
that was before the quarrel. when i heard that i was like wtf, are we her maids??

f pb. then after i didnt say anything, she was back to doing her own things
i was like, trembling with anger
seriously, i was going to explode alr
i wanted to smash the plates in my dish rack, i wanna throw her things downstairs
so i waited for her to leave
then after that i threw her shoes at the door and kick it
then i threw her clothes on the floor and step it
i seriously cannot control my anger
im like so pissed that i threw anything i saw, including some plugs
im damn angry la.
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thanks for reading
i know it might be filled with spelling mistakes/grammer mistakes or whatever shit
but when you typed in a fit of an anger
things just spill.
you have no time to think
whatever it is.
i think im going crazy soon
my eyes are puffy and tired.